Throwback Thursday

This time last year we were playing at the blue park for the last time. After just 3 months in Arizona, we packed our things up and headed back to the Midwest. So sad to have to leave my family but we knew Arizona wasn't the place for Gabby, Mario, and myself. Damn you, life!

Dear T.E.

Today is your due date. 

I wonder what you might have looked like. Were you a girl or a boy? What would we have named you? How much would you have weighed? How long would you have been? Would you have looked like your big sister? 

These things I'll never know. 

I've never stopped thinking about you and wondering what the rest of my pregnancy would have been like. What kind of life you would have had. 

I may be the only one who remembers it's your due date. And that's ok. It's not up to anyone else to remember. I remember. I've been thinking about this day since I lost you in December. 

I took an Alpha class with your dad around the time I lost you. It was with a church we would go to off and on. It was supposed to help us understand why we are here in the first place. After the course, I'm still confused as to what this life is all about. But, the pastor asked us, "if you were face to face with God, what would you ask him?" Your dad being hilarious as usual said " what do you like to do for fun?" And me being the emotional wreck that I was at the time said "what does my baby look like?" 

I think about it everyday. 

Your little sister is due in October. I wonder, when she is able to talk, if she'll tell me about you. Describe what you looked like. Tell me things you said. Let me know if she saw her sister or brother before she came to me.

I took this at the end of November 2014. I still think this was you with us in this picture. 

See you? Floating by your sisters head. I know that was you. I was in the process of losing you since week 6. It wasn't until week 8 that it was confirmed and my pregnancy with you was over. I kept what I had of you. I'm sorry it took me 7 whole months before I could even think about burying you. Your dad finally did and we planted gorgeous bright flowers above you. 

 I miss you everyday. 

I love you, Taylor baby. 

See you when I see you.

25 Weeks Pregnant

Today's date: July 6, 2015

How far along: 25 weeks

Total weight gain: like, 19lbs

Size of the baby: 1.5lbs and 13.5in - size of a rutabaga

Sex: Girl!

Maternity clothes: yes, please. At least any jeans/bottoms. They are so much more comfortable.

Sleep: mild insomnia.

Best moment(s) of the week: Gabby feeling and seeing her baby sister moving. 

Movement: all the time!

Food cravings: Subways tuna sammich on white bread with jalapeños!

Food aversions: None :)

Morning sickness: nope

Symptoms: nesting like a mother effer! 

Labor signs: Too soon.

Belly button in or out: Flat

What I miss:  sleeping on my belly

What I'm looking forward to: Week 32 appointment so we can talk to the doctor who delivered Gabby. Repeat csection or vbac? 

4th of July

Woke up at the crack of dawn. Literally. 4am and I have to pee (for the 12th time tonight). Of course pregnancy insomnia decides to kick in and I'm unable to fall back asleep. 6:30am rolls around and it's time to get up. So I do. 

Sweet bags. 

I wake Gabby up a little after 7:30am. She's not happy about this. She's tired. She's grouchy. She won't let me dress her in a cute 4th of July outfit. She's cutely pissed on the way to breakfast. 

We all eat good and head to the mall. At this point, she's a little happier and has some energy. 

Bouncing around the play area!

We head home and I take a much needed 1.5hr nap. We go out to eat for dinner and come home to light some fireworks. Gabby said she loved it. Sparklers were a big hit!

Feeling accomplished today

Not only did I clean up Gabby's toy area, room, and my room. But! I also managed to get some receiving blankets washed up as well as my pump. I need to order new pumping tubes and bottles, but, everything else is ready to use. I put some of the blankets into my baby bag and will slowly fill it with a couple outfits and other things baby will need. I'm going to start on my hospital bag, too. As well as hubby's.

 

So early, I'm only 25 weeks, but that's all there is to do! We aren't setting up a nursery. We did for Gabby but she still sleeps with me and only goes into her room to play. If anything, the girls can share a room for a little while. 

We bought a pack and play last week. The one we had when Gabby was born is broken. We got a lot of use out of it. We do have Gabby's old crib, that she slept in all of maybe 3 times! That is in a different part of the house for now.

All that's left to get is a car seat, double stroller, pumping tubes and bottles, and eventually a high chair. Other then that, we have everything. Well, we will need diapers and wipes. But that's it! 

Here's an updated progress picture from week 24!